Burning to See
by CirqueFreak
Summary: The burning. It burned so much. It felt like I was being held captive over an engulfing flame. I screamed as loud as my voice could. I could only hear the voice of an angel. At first a one shot but I love you guys so more!
1. Burning

The burning. It burned so much. It felt like I was being held captive over an engulfing flame. I screamed as loud as my voice could. I could only hear the voice of an angel.

"It's going to be okay. Shhh, don't worry."

Dear god that voice was beautiful. It sounds like the ocean on a clear day. With little kids running in the sand and bells chiming in the distance. The kids would run around laugh and playing. Running away as the water would touch their ankles. That voice sounded just like a moment like that; peaceful and hopeful.

The burning returned like a whiplash. I screamed in pain and withered. Losing my breath after I calmed down. I could fell myself changing into something cold. Something very cold. My insides were turning and I could feel everything snapback into place.

Images flashed through my head like pictures. I saw the day that my dog ran around the yard, splashing in the mud. Then he ran to me and got me muddy. Mother was so mad that day but I could see her trying not to smile. And dad only shook his head and continued reading the paper. I saw me sitting in front of the fireplace just staring into the flames as if it were a circus. But now the circus wasn't what I'd expected it to be. It was hell and I couldn't breathe.

I literally couldn't breathe. The days had pass and I was breathing but now I couldn't. My heart stopped also. The burning was going away. I could feel a breeze hit the inside of me. The pain was over and I could finally see.

I opened my eyes to see the face I once saw. I smiled and it smiled in return.

"You're okay. You've changed."

I turned towards a window and saw my reflection. I was beautiful but nothing compared to my love. My hair was perfect and my eyes were crimson and my skin was pale. My hand went to my heart and I couldn't feel it beat. I gasped and looked at my savior. Was I not supposed to be dead? If my heart has stopped why aren't I in the ground? Was this heaven? But heaven would never put me into this hell. It would have never let me go through the pain. But it would have let me hear the voice of an angel. I turned back to the window and continued to gaze. A burning was in my throat and it was uncontrollable. But I did not want to move for I would have lost control. I've lost everything anyway. But I gained this man forever.

His voice was so sweet. "Esme."

Peace at last.

_**The forever……**_


	2. AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Thank you so much you guys (and gals) for reading my fan fic. I originally made this as a one shot but I'm usually at school writing more and more about this. So I guess I will make a few more chapters.

This was supposed to be about Emmett but I realized that we never heard Esme's side of her story. So I wrote this in my own way of what I thought happened when she first found out that she was a vampire.

Thank you guys for reading this, it makes me really happy.

Read and Review! 


	3. Ice

**Author's Note!!**

**Beware that this chapter made me increase the rating. I guess my mind was kinda physco today. But there is a part where glass and skin is involved. Enjoy you guys and gals and thanks for getting me over 247 views! You guys freaking rock!! Oh and of course please read and review. Kisses and apples for everyone! **

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Carlisle stared at Esme's beauty. She didn't look like the other vampires. She had something special about her that made her seem like a fairy tale. He smirked and gazed and she gave a loving look back. If he could ever feel his heart again just for one moment in his life, she would make it clench.

………………**..**

"My baby died a few days after he was born. I was so devastated. I couldn't live with myself anymore." Esme whispered.

"I am sorry Esme, about your child. But you do not deserve to die." Carlisle looked her in the eyes.

Esme bowed her head and put her hands on her cheek waiting for the blood to rush to them. But she was forever cold like an ice princess. They had talked about what she just had become. She was only grateful that the burning was over.

"Why? Why should I live if my child died? I can always have another but it would only remind me. And who with?"

Carlisle took a seat in a chair. He ran his fingers along his ring and took a deep breath. He did not want to tell her that she is forever frozen. No baby, blood, or love. But maybe she could be his love.

"Esme, I didn't want to tell you this. I do not intend on hurting you again after all that's happened to you," He let out a breath again. "You can no have children since you have changed. I know that having a child is the most important thing to you but we can not have a child. I mean you can not." He added.

Esme got up off the bed very quickly. Carlisle could have sworn she was about to run. Her eyes flickered everywhere until it landed on a window. She ran to the window and busted it open. Pieces of glass flew everywhere and she snatched on as it was falling. She put the blade to her wrist and slit it. But the glass only broke in her hands. She got another piece and tried to do it again and again and repeatedly but it didn't work. She threw the last piece of glass on the ground and slid to the floor.

"I can't do that. I need something worth living for."

Carlisle had let her vent out her pain and he went to sit next to her.

"Esme there is so much out there to live for. There's the love that can bring you happiness."

"Who can bring me love? No one! I AM A VAMPIRE! I don't deserve love. I never had love." She stopped and held her throat. The thirst started again.

"I've never had love and I'm surviving. Me and my son are."

"Your son? I thought we couldn't have children?"

"Well, I created him. He was like you, dieing. So I saved him and he has become my son. But not technically yet he has only been in his words "my companion". I want to adopt him but I think that he needs to have a mother."

She looked at him. "How old is he?"

"He's forever seventeen."

She sighed. She had pictured a young boy who he could live with her. They could both enjoy everything that any young boy would. They would play hide and go seek and run with the dog. But she quickly snapped out of her vision because she knew it wasn't possible.

"Tell me about him," She sat closer to him. She closed her eyes listening to him. She still could not cope with the fact that she could never have a child in her womb. She could never hold on to her stomach and smile with sunshine. That could never be her. Her thirst came back again.

"His name is Edward and he is very gifted…."

Carlisle went on talking about Edward. He could feel that Esme was hurt and he wanted to heal her. He didn't want her to feel that she had nothing to live for because she could become what he wants to live for. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.


	4. Meeting

Esme and Carlisle walked into a room. Carlisle had taken Esme to meet Edward at their home. After she vented out her pain and he told her about Edward, he invited her to live with him. She still hadn't answered but she showed interest.

"Edward?" Carlisle spoke.

Edward darted in front of Carlisle. He looked and Carlisle and then Esme.

"Hello Esme, my name is Edward." He held a hand out.

"How did you know my name before I asked?" She stared at his extended hand.

"Um, well-"Edward dropped his hand to his side.

"Remember when I told you about how gifted he was?" Carlisle said.

"Yes."

"Well he his very gifted. How he has gotten this talent is still a mystery to me but I'm guessing it was carried on from his human life. Maybe it intensified," Carlisle was lost in thought.

"Carlisle, I think she just wants the point." Edward sighed.

Esme turned back to Edward watching him. He was a beautiful boy with bronze hair and golden eyes. He was taller than her at least 6 foot 3 and he was slender but had muscles. He seemed nice.

"Oh right," Carlisle remembered. "Edward has a gift to read the minds of others."

"What? Did you say read minds? Is that possible?" Esme was stunned.

"I've never seen it before. Well I have in my younger days in Italy but that was different."

"Are you sure? Because if you both are trying to trick me, I'll-I'll hurt you." Esme took a step back.

"Esme, you don't want to do that." Edward said.

"I knew," Esme snarled.

"No, what I mean is that you can't. You're too good for that." Edward stepped forward.

"How would you know?"

Edward looked at her with soft eyes. "Because I've seen what you want, I know that you are willing to love, you're not that person. And you don't want to be on your own."

"How do you keep knowing these things?!" Esme glared at Edward.

Carlisle stepped forward, "I told you that he can read other's thoughts."

"Well can you please give me privacy?" Esme snapped. "Sorry."

"If you wish. But it is quite hard for me to not to hear others thoughts. Carlisle, I need to hunt, I'll give you two some time."

Carlisle nodded and Edward turned to the door. He walked past Esme and she cringed. Edward headed towards the door.

"Thank you for being kind." Esme thought.

Edward turned to Esme and smiled. He walked out of the door and took off running. Esme watched with amazement at how fast he was going.

"Yes, he is pretty fast. Faster than I am." Carlisle said.

She had forgotten that Carlisle was still in the room with her. She turned to him and smiled.

"He is very nice. He must be a blessing."

"Yes, yes he is. But he has his moments. He still wishes that I could have let him died. Not that he regrets it but he just can't see living for a long period of time fulfilling." Carlisle sighed.

"I'm sure he appreciates you," Esme smiled. "He seems-"

"Esme what's wrong?" Carlisle held a hand to her.

Esme was clutching a chair and holding her throat. She held the chair harder until it broke into pieces. She fell to the ground scratching at the floor.

"My throat hurts. I can smell something sweet. It hurts." Esme gasped.

Carlisle walked to Esme and held her face in his hands. "The thirst is strong when you're a newborn. Esme you have to fight it." He heard a human hunting in the near by woods.

"Carlisle, I-I can't. I need it."

"No, listen to me Esme. I'm going to take you some place where you can get better without killing."

"That's what I was going to do? I was going to kill? But, I can't kill. I don't want to kill." Esme stared into his eyes.

"I won't ever let you kill someone. I promise you Esme, or I'll be damned."


End file.
